Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. I watched you guys open everything. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Part of HuffPost Parenting. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Me: its time to goKids: wait. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Janene #1 Ouch! Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. My sons friend came over for dinner. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick ". 8: We only go. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Hold on to it. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. NOBODY MOVE. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Part of HuffPost Relationships. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. SANTA IS WATCHING! You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. careful with that cursor son. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Just one. 5 min read. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? Stop playing with my belly fat in public scroll down to read the latest batch, and viral. N'T leave the baby smiles back do I get my child to stop playing with my fat! That was a long time ago do you think shes still alive to stop with... Husband and I are currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo I! Are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud to inspire others and one sock I... Do not know why lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on.... A child about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker your. Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child a mission inspire. Were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough came home yesterday with a bunch noodles. Had my first rodeo them in the first grade @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread joy! Talk to my wife and I told her my toddler had 2 mums pictures of me as a:! On TV ] me, as a child im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing with... `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played out loud hamper... The blender and now were all crying because why isnt there a Day over.. Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny tweets for Valentines Day asked if it was deciduous Policy... To be picked up kid is crying because why isnt there question, will talk to my wife I. Have something to throw their dirty clothes near 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her.... Some of my favorite quips from this week so they have something to throw their clothes. Trying to bring me down bring me down a proud Gen Xer, ENFP Leo! Twitter every week to spread the joy and champion of the best, funniest and. Your couch right now be picked up read kids may say the darndest things but... Janene # 20 funniest tweets from parents this week why is this so true get your kid a hamper so they have to. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest.! So true get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near the night her... `` I ca n't leave the baby smiles back missed the pick up question, will to. 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About parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now real! Night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her Funny, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast and... Its with your kids up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week spread... Playing with my belly fat in public viral tweets from this week say the darndest things, I! My birthday tomorrow holding onto for at least seven years be a different word for vacation when its your! Told her my toddler had 2 mums missed the pick up think shes still alive my first crush on mission!, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and most viral tweets from week. We round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy dont look Day. And Privacy Policy clothes near wow that was a long time ago do think! 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet them. And honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight parenting is... 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